Sweet Dreams
by Distant Dream
Summary: After losing her brothers Jaina Solo is haunted by dreams. *Set after Anakin is Killed*
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - The Characters that are featured in this FanFic belong to the Great George Lucas. ;o) I don't own any of them.

Jaina's body shook with exhaustion. It had been another long day cramped into the cockpit of her X-Wing and her body was physically displaying that it had had enough. She could just barely remember the last time she had been allowed to just sleep. Sleep wasn't something Jaina did anymore. She trained, she worked, and she worried, but she didn't sleep. Not since Anakin died and Jacen had been lost.

She left lost inside her own mind. A dark haze had settled over her life and she was lost trying to find her way out. Everything was numbed. Her life no longer held any warmth or comfort. The safety bubble that had once surrounded her family had burst in one horrifying moment and Jaina had been left broken. Jaina knew that if Anakin had been there he would have been able to fix her. He had always had a knack for fixing things. Jacen would have told her one of his terrible jokes to make her smile. But they weren't there.

As much as Jaina pained for her younger brother, the loss of her twin tore into the fabric of her very soul. Jaina was missing half of herself and the black hole left from the void threatened to swallow what was left of her.

Jaina found that she no longer had any compassion, whether it was toward others or toward herself. She honestly didn't care if she was vaped in the next conflict with the Yuuzhan Yong. She had been lucky too many times and her card was coming up, but she didn't care.

When Jaina had returned after losing her brothers everyone had expected her to run into her parents waiting arms, but Jaina couldn't make herself take comfort in them. Han, whom was already crippled with grief, looked the picture of misery and Leia tried too hard. Her wounds hurt more when she was faced with her parents. So instead of surrounding herself with loved ones, she withdrew into herself and let her life be consumed with fighting the race that took her brothers.

Jaina knew that such actions of pure revenge were of the Dark Side but she could hurt the enemy and save others doing it. What would turning to the dark Side mater if she didn't live past the war? So with a heart crying for vengeance Jaina threw herself into the war with everything she had left, even if it wasn't much.

Jaina walked in a haze as she found her way back into her small cabin. Her feet instinctively knew the way. Jaina's mind and body were separated. Her conscience floated away to contemplate other things but the numbness that grabbed hold to her soul made those thoughts just out of reach.

Jaina collapsed onto her bunk. She knew she needed to clean but the slightly itchy oiliness of her body was inconsequential to the over powering exhaustion of the mental and physical form.

For the first time in a long time, Jaina didn't cry herself into an uncomfortable sleep.

MORE COMING SOON


	2. Sweet Dreams Chapters 2 & 3

Walking down the hallway Jaina was struck by how dark it was. Normally bright synthetic lights lit the lavish apartment that the Solo's called home on Coruscant, but it seemed as if all those lights had gone out. The only way Jaina was able to maneuver through the hall was to follow a soft iridescent violet glow radiating from the living room area.

Jaina absently wondered if anyone else was home but given the stillness and the silence around it was evident that she was alone. That was fine with her; she was used to being alone. It seemed like she had been alone for a long time.

The hallway was filled with memories; of times long past that she had spent with her brother and parents. Drawing a deep breath she could picture Jacen and herself as young children running though these halls on their way to another adventure in the streets of Coruscant. She could remember the first time she and Jacen had brought their friend Zekk home and the first time they had to leave for the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4.

Sure, Jaina left alone now but her memories were filled with nothing but time her brother and she had spent together. He had always been there with her; whether they were getting in trouble or just enjoying themselves.

But things wouldn't ever be the same because her brother was never coming home again. She was forever doomed to walk down these halls alone…in the dark.

As the memories of times long ago flashed through her mind an all consuming depression surrounded her heart. Things were not going to get any better. They couldn't possibly get nay better. She had lost two of the people in her life that had meant the most. She didn't have any **_real_** reason to keep going. What kind of difference was she really making? The war effort would do just as good without her. She was only one pilot. Every day pilots died, one more wouldn't make any difference.

With these self destructive thoughts the faces of her friends popped into her head; Tenel Ka's stern face, Zekk's soft smile, and Lowbaca's friendly eyes. She knew that if she gave into her dispare and allowed herself to embrace the sweet release of death her friends would suffer and for a second she was almost convinced against it…almost. They will get over it, she thought, they are bound to lose more loved ones in this war so why shelter them by keeping herself in pain.

Jaina entered the living room and was illuminated by a soft purple glow and gazed around the room in search for its source but from what she could tell the light was coming from the very air surrounding her.

Jaina moved across the room in slight apprehension. There was an unsettling feeling that hovered over her as she made her way toward the balcony door. It felt like something was out of place and Jaina got the distinct feeling that she was no longer alone even though she was the only on in the room.

With unsteady hands Jaina reached the balcony door and drew it back, leaving just enough room for her to slip her petite body through. The cold air slapped her face and Jaina was forced to take in an involuntary breath because of the discomforting cold.

Chills ran though her body, not only because of the harsh frigid air but with nervousness of what she was about to do.

Jaina leaned over the balcony fence and stared down into the abyss that seemed to go forever. Jaina steadied her nerves and prepared to jump.

"Please Jaya, don't" came a soft whisper from behind her. Startled Jaina turned around to see the translucent shape of her younger brother.

"Anakin?" He looked just like she remembered him. His shaggy hair cascaded over his forehead and hovered just above his eyes. Those ice blue eyes, that he shared with his uncle bore into her as only his eyes could, and he wore a sad half smile on his face, a Solo smile.

Jaina seemed to be able to comprehend the simplest of statements, faced with this ghostly image of her brother. "But your dead. I saw you die. I watched your body being burned…" Tears leaked from her eyes. "I felt you die."

Anakin's figure moved closer to Jaina. "No your right, I'm dead but it turns out being dead isn't as final as we thought." Anakin's eyes blazed with the excitement he used to show after figuring out a puzzle. "Hey, Jaya, do you remember the stories that Uncle Luke told us about his old masters and how they could appear to him through the force? That's what happened to me. I'm part of the force! I didn't really die I just kind of…" Anakin paused in search for a word to explain what he had been through but nothing completely accurate came to him. "It was like I was freed. I had always been in touch with the Force but…when I died I…merged with it.

Anakin's figure spread his arms and inhaled. "I can feel **everything** Jaina because I'm part of everything. And yet I'm still me at the same time. I've never felt so alive." Anakin moved to put his hand on Jaina's whose was still gripping tightly onto the balcony fence. To Jaina's surprise she could feel it. "I can feel you, Mom, Dad, Jacen, even the smallest of creatures on any planet."

Jaina was shocked out of her speechlessness. "Wait, Jacen? But he's dead too. Everyone felt him die…"

Anakin stared directly into the sorrow filled eyes of his sister. "Did you feel him die Jaina?"

"No…"

"He's not dead Jaina. He's in pain but he's not dead."

Hope filled Jaina for the first time since her brother's death. "So then I can find him and save him, I can bring him back home alright and--"

"No! You can't Jaina. If you went looking for Jacen he wouldn't learn what he has to learn. I, no the Force needs him to be where he is, for now…He will find his way back to you, just not yet."

Jaina's heart sunk. "But you said he was in pain! I can't just abandon my only brother!

"Jaina you have to! If you go now you'll kill him and yourself! You can't die yet! Trust me, Jacen will be alright you just have to wait. You also can't tell anyone that he's alive." A full fledged smile spread across Anakin's face. "Mom knows, but you can't confirm her hopes. Jacen has to escape on his own. I need it to be that way."

"You may think you haven't changed but you have. The Anakin I knew would have stopped at nothing to save his brother. "

"I understand more now."

Jaina answered bitterly, "So I see."

"I still love you."

The ice that had built up around Jaina's heart in the last month melted.

"I love you too." After pausing for a second Anakin heard Jaina whisper, "I miss you Anakin."

Anakin embraced his sister. "I never really left, nor will I ever leave you. As long as you listen to the force know that it is I who is whispering back."

After a long moment Anakin stepped away. "You have to wake up now Jaina, duty calls." With a wink he was gone.

Jaina awoke to screeching of alarms. The Vongs were attacking again. Remembering her dream she felt a rush of hope. She knew that everything would be alright, in one way or another. Jaina's will to live and passion for life was restored. As she gathered her helmet and raced out the door the faintest whisper reached her ears, "May the Force be with you my sister." Smiling Jaina raced to her X-wing.


End file.
